It’s that time of the year again! I was just looking through my archives from a year ago, and saw that feature and wondered if FTN would give it a go, again. I also wondered if Autumn would. Because I’m such a nosy guy, I usually have a mittful of questions for Autumn. Plus she does sometimes give me insight into my own wife. While that is still true, I’m a bit more interested in helping her help FTN with his hypersexuality disorder, if she’s courageous enough to share.
Are you game, Autumn?
1. What is the biggest change in your life since last year?
2. What do you think your biggest challenge is going to be in the coming year? How do you plan on dealing with it?
3. FTN sometimes makes it seem like you don’t want to deal with problems and you sometimes come off looking like an avoider who would rather wait for the problems to disappear on their own. Is that true? How much do you rely on FTN’s willingness and ability to confront or solve problems within your relationship, if there are any?
4. We kind of went through the “sexual anorexia” question in a previous year, and I apologize for that. Let’s pretend that I have the ability to offer a cure for this in the form of a pill. If you take the red pill, your sexual desire will increase and you’ll be as horny as FTN! If you take the blue pill, FTN’s desire decreases to the point where it is exactly the same as yours. What do you choose? Red, blue or no pills? Or both pills, in which case your roles would completely reverse.
5. I asked FTN why he had such high sexual desire and he gave a list of 5 reasons. (No cheating, FTN!) . What do you think his 5 top reasons for liking sex so much were?
6. Apart from sex, what does intimacy look like to you? Would you describe your relationship with FTN as intimate (apart from sex)?
7. How do you know sex is over with? Who is more likely to be the one that wants to talk after sex?
8. FTN is having a huge mental block when it comes to figuring out what his psychological issues and dysfunctions are (apart from his hypersexuality). You guys did do counseling, right? Could you help him (and help us help him) by giving a list of 5 (or more) issues that he could work on? Or was the counseling totally centered on your issues? Feel free to make the list as comprehensive as you need. Blogging is another form of therapy and we’re all here to help FTN in whatever way we can.
9. FTN wrote about a half marathon or something like it he was going to do with you. Could asking him to do this be likened to him asking you to do certain sexual things? You know, you might be able to motivate him to train harder if you wagered certain sexual things if he beat you in the race!
10. As a busy mom, I realize your time is limited so I’m curious as to how you might prioritize your “spare” time. So I’d like you to look at each activity below and classify each as to how you feel about doing them on a scale of 1 to 5. 5 = Excited and looking forward to doing it, 3 = will do if time allows but not too excited about, 1 =not excited about it at all and possibly dreading it. Ready? You go, girl!
a. Watching Discovery Health (The morbidly obese marathon)
b. Running/working out
c. Reading a romance novel
d. Singing at church
e. Sex planned 2 days in advance
f. Reading a self-help book like Passionate Marrage
g. Going to a movie (romantic comedy)
h. Going to a movie (Action/adventure)
i. Attending a party with friends (no kids)
h. Eating out at a Chinese restaurant (no kids)
j. Eating at McDonalds (with kids)
k. Visiting your parents/family
l. Visiting FTN’s parents/family
m. Making out on the couch with FTN after the kids are asleep
n. Visiting a foreign country
o. Blogging
p. Computer games/internet surfing
q. Changing diapers
r. Eating out at an Italian restarurant
s. Having drinks at a bar
t. Sleeping
u. Running a 15 mile race
v. Cooking
w. Unplanned sex TONIGHT
x. Talking about sex
y. Praying with FTN
z. Answering questions from strange anonymous bloggers.
I hope this wasn’t too stressful of an experience as I try to make it thoughtful and at least somewhat fun. You got a lot of courage (and patience) dealing with FTN, much less all of his strange, anonymous blogging friends!
D.
Unsolicited Advice: Wordpress Version 
January 31, 2008 at 4:06 pm |
Wow, this should be fun… Er, uh, interesting, at the very least. I’ll see if she’s up for these questions. It’s like an essay test!
Let’s talk about #5 for a moment, although I’ll ask her the question just as you wrote it, regardless. For some backstory for anyone ELSE reading, Digger and I have been bantering about this a bit via email. In your post here, you say this:
“I asked FTN why he had such high sexual desire and he gave a list of 5 [6, actually] reasons.”
But that’s not what you asked. In your comment here, you asked this:
“Why are you so anxious to touch someone who reacts so adversely to your touch?”
Those are two VERY different questions. My list of six reasons were in response to the “touch” question, not “why do I have such a high sexual desire.” In fact, #1-5 were all about INTIMACY. I only hit on “primal sexual urge” in #6.
I just want to make sure we are talking about the same thing, because your question here is not the exact same as what I had answered earlier.
January 31, 2008 at 4:09 pm |
Of course, when I say “intimacy” here, I realize it’s not the same definition that Schnarch uses. Because I know you’ll jump on that word. 🙂
January 31, 2008 at 5:59 pm |
Okay. I think it will be interesting to see what she says, regardless. I’m also keen to see what *she* says about what intimacy is, as her definition might differ from anything you or I or Schnarch or anyone else might say.
D.
February 13, 2008 at 4:27 pm |
Thought I should link her answers here, just to make the cycle complete.
February 14, 2008 at 12:48 pm |
I’ll be offering up my in-depth analysis in a little bit. You seem to be inspiring some good blog material lately!
D.
June 12, 2008 at 8:50 pm |
yo hey ummm my name is Autumn!!! no joke but please dont think thsat i am lying because i am NOT!!!!!!
lol!
July 13, 2008 at 6:24 pm |
yo people my name is autumn too!